(Also, I realized while writing this that I have so much to say so there will be multiple posts about how God has worked in my life through SM so bare with me.)
Today, would have been the 3 year anniversary of when SM and I officially started to date. Unfortunately for me, today will just be another day as SM broke up with me back in September (The night before my first day of school. If you read a previous post, you realize how much of a change I've gone through. Bad timing I know but it needed to be done. But I digress.) Now for those of you reading who don't know SM looks like a mix of Taylor Swift and Rachel McAdams so you can imagine that this girl would catch any guy's eyes. Personality wise, she is her own special self. The way her presence fills the room is amazing. Good times were always to be had when SM was around. She was funny, cute and adorable, and a little crazy at times. Best part about her is that she loves God which is just amazing. Having her in my life was a blessing indeed. Before we started dating we were friends for a few years as well as we met in my first year university.
But now, as it has been almost 5 whole months since the break-up and in that time, I have only seen her once from a far and I haven't talked to her since, All I have left of her is the memories. Oh the memories. It is strange 'how every melody seems like a memory' as I listen to songs on the radio or from the past that we used to listen to.
It is crazy how life changes.At one point I am enjoying 5 years of friendship, and almost 3 years of a committed relationship with a wonderful woman who I was planning to marry some day, and then the next point, the relationship ends, friendship over, and there is total separation and ex-communication. It is truly hard to have that happen in your life. Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that it isn't easy. However, this whole ordeal was made easier thanks to the hope I have in God and the love He has for me. You see, "sometimes good things must end, so great things may come together" and I firmly believe that God is working in both of our lives. Now I do not know what the Lord has in store for the future, whether SM and I would ever meet again and be friends (or even something more if that is God's plan), but since losing SM I have been drawn so much closer to God. Almost everyday it becomes more apparent how God's guiding me in life in order to use me for His glory. It does suck that I lost SM but over time I will fully understand why that had to happen. I know so far it had to happen so that I would grow up and be a Man of God that I am called to be and put my childish ways behind me (1 Cor 13:11). It is encouraging to know that God has a plan for me that will have me do great things (Jer 29:11) and as long as I seek Him first, my plans will line up perfectly with His.
So basically God had to break me to make me who I am today and for who I will become tomorrow. As for my love life, yes I miss having someone to love, laugh, and share my life with, but I have come to realize that I was not mature enough to have a girlfriend no matter how much I wanted one. I'm sorry to SM for the hurt I caused her in my foolishness and I hope someday we can be friends again but I thank God for the times I did have with SM as they will always be cherished. Who knows who God has in store for me, but as long as I trust and seek Him first, when the time is right, I will be ready to love that girl like Jesus loved the church. Which brings me to verse of the post!
VERSE of the POST:
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. - James 1:4
SONG of the POST: Goodbye in her eyes - Zac Brown Band
I can relate with this song so well since I did feel/see a goodbye in her eyes/vibe the last time I was with her and she is with someone new who she met before we broke up. "He will love the way she shines". Still a great song that has helped me.
Thanks for reading and please comment and let me know what you liked, dislike, or anything on your mind!
All the best and God bless!
John
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