Father, give me grace to forgive them.

So this post is inspired from what was preached at church yesterday as well as from what is happening in my life. Currently there is a series being done at church on 2 Peter and how to live to be a strong Christian or something. I honestly missed the beginning of the series as I was at another church. The main passage is:

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection(Brotherly kindness); and to mutual affection (Brotherly kindness), love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins." - 2 Peter 1:5-9 (NIV).

The text I bolded is what yesterday's message was on. The concept of how, as Christians, we should exhibit a brotherly affection or kindness to one another. Other passages used were:

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed His love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loves us, we also out to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." - 1 John 4:7-12 (NIV)

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited (Do not be wise in your own opinion). Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with everyone." - Romans 12:9-17 (NIV)

Now after all the verses I've given, I don't think I will have a verse of the post as I usually do. Now it is time to say what I have been thinking regarding all this. Clearly, a part of being Christian is being filled with the Spirit and having the love of God in us to give to others. God commands us (and tells us that our faith is evident through) to love one another. Now when we all agree on topics and all share common interests and goals, this loving one another comes pretty easy wouldn't you say? Well while I was sitting in church listening to the message, I kept thinking of how other people treat me and not so much of how I treat others. It may be a pride thing but I thought shortly on how I treat others and made a mental note to try and be aware when I'm not being loving and try to do better. Back to what I was thinking though in regards to how I am treated, in particular, by certain Christian friends.
This is something I have been talking to God about today while I was praywalking (praying while walking). I was talking to him about how after relationships or friendships end, people purposely remove people from their lives, for example when people break up, typically they go separate ways and friends of the people involved stick to their respective sides.
Now in my situation, I went through a break up, and SM decided to remove me from her life and friends of hers that I became friends with also began to ignore me for sometime. Now in a worldly view, this kind of makes sense since what would be the point of being friends. But when I think about this, and how in this situation we are all Christians, we should all be united in Christ and love each other as brothers and sisters should we not?
This is something I talked to God about today and hopefully everything will work out in his due time. In my eyes, no matter what happens between people, no matter what the circumstances, we need to put our pride aside and love one another. Sure it may be hard but to think it isn't possible would totally diminish the power of God's love. If we cannot put our pride aside and love one another and continue to purposely alienate people or remove people from our lives, than what makes us as Christians different than the world? If we don't follow God's commandments and forgive others of their mistakes and allow them into our lives in some capacity so that we may show them God's love to help build them up, than what kind of witness is that? We need to come together as the body of Christ and live in harmony and not let the mistakes or sins in our lives hinder our witness to the world. In my situation, I continue to pray for SM and hope she will someday allow me to be her brother in Christ instead of trying to pretend I don't exist.
It is also interesting to think that we can control who is and is not a part of our lives as if our lives are not interconnected. This world is both huge and small all at the same time. God has set up the connections of people in our lives for a reason and uses everyone in some capacity for our benefit. Sometimes the effect is negative and sometimes it is positive but ultimately God uses them to help us grow. I understand also that sometimes people can come and go in our lives and that is out of our control. But my point is as Christians, we should not force other Christians out of our lives no matter what the situation. Allow God to fill us with grace and love to overcome the hurt that we may be united in Christ.
I know someday God may have us meet to talk about how great his guidance and blessings truly are in our lives and He will be glorified then as I try to glorify him now.

SONGS OF THE POST: Yes there is 2!

Tenth Avenue North - Losing

Last fall during tough times and even now when things seem unfair, I am reminded by God to continue to love them and forgive them because God gives me the love and grace to do so. 

Starfield - Light of the World

We are the light of the world. When we put our pride aside and come together we can change this world. Beautiful song by Starfield.

All the best and God bless!

John

Fluid 2013 Conference!

Hey everyone!
So today I had the opportunity to go to a young adults conference called Fluid 2013 at the Church on the Queensway. It was an amazing day with sessions starting at 9am running all the way to 830pm. It was a long day of messages and worship but it honestly flew by. I hung out with people from different circle of friends which was fun. I mainly hung out with my buddy RW and we went out to lunch with the young adults group from Bayview Glen and then went out to supper with people from Creekside Church. One of the fun part of the day was that after we ate lunch, we still had some time on our break so RW and I went to Golf Town on our way back and we hit a few balls in the driving range. It was such a beautiful day today and I thought: A) I can't wait to start golfing again after I learned how last Summer and B) If I was home in New Brunswick, days like today would have had me playing ball hockey with the neighbours. Oh the good old days where life was all fun and games haha.
Well as I said, today was the Fluid 2013 young adults conference and it was awesome! I took notes for future references and I will share some of the highlights of the messages today with some quotes and concepts that I noted from each Speaker.

Speaker 1: Donald Miller: - Story of Joseph in Genesis.
- "Bad things are going to happen in your life; that's a given. There are two reactions you can have, either 1) You will get bitter or 2) You will get better."
- He discussed the story of Joseph and how God uses the highs and lows in his life to prepare him for the life he was to have. So the highs and lows in our lives all lead us to where God wants us / needs us.
- Challenge question: "Are the goals you set for life meangingful?"
- "If God is going to use you, you will experience pain. Pain is part of the journey."
Pain / tough times in our lives are meant for reflection and growth and without these times in our life, we cannot truly reach our potential.
- He also talked about changing from an external locus of control to an internal locus of control because once we do that, we can change and start living life.

Speaker 2: Sundar Krishnan - Theme was pride and looked at Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 4.
- Pride is good at hiding itself on us and we can easily be blind to the pride in our lives since it can be, on the one hand, seen in boasting, or in the other hand seen in self-pity.
- "When we refuse to forgive someone God has forgiven, we're saying the sin against us was greater than the sin against God."
- Pride cheats us out of many things in life because it deceives us on who we are and what we can do.
- Important way to prevent pride is to stay in God's word or have regular exposure to it and community with God's people. They will help keep you accountable. Try this exercise with a friend or spouse: Ask them to tell you where Pride is in your life. The trick is to only ask questions back to them for clarification and you are not allowed to argue with then about what they say. Sundar says this has helped their church leaders realize the pride in their lives. It is a great exercise to keep us accountable.

Speaker 3: Bruxy Cavey - Daniel 5
- The difference between knowledge and application of the Word = Hypocrisy Gap. You want to balance the intake of Gods word with the output of application of Gods word in your life. That way you don't become "spiritually obese" and unhealthy. We need to shorten the gap between all the knowledge we gain with all we do with it in service and loving others. I loved the analogy!
- Repent means "change of mind" which leads to a change in action. the challenge was "what is holding you back from allowing your mind to be changed?"
- Printed Word vs Spoken Word. God gives us the scripture to be interpreted by the Spirit of God through God's people. Ex. Daniel and words on the wall. God could have made everything plain and simple but that wouldn't be good because we would take that and go off alone and be content but God loves to use His people and work together. Thus we need community to interpret the Word.
- "The Scriptures are not God, they are the place to go to learn the truth of who God is. Don't follow the Bible, READ the Bible and Follow Jesus."
- Sometimes repentance means choosing to not quit in the battle against sin. You may stumble but stumble forward if you have to.

Speaker 4: Eugene Cho - Daniel 6
- Daniel excelled. So we should excel because by doing so, people will notice us and notice that there is something else in us driving us to excel. That something else is Jesus that they will hopefully notice. Daniel was in refuge and in the lowest of lows of the Babylon society but he excelled and rose up through society. God used him greatly. Same can be seen in the life of Joseph in Genesis. Obviously God can use anyone and we don't have to be awesome for God to use us. But it is important to know that God has blessed us with skills and talents that we can use for him. Be all we can be and the Lord will do great things through us.
- "When the grass looks greener on the other side, that's a sign you need to start watering the grace you're standing on!" This is a great quote. Such a simple example of how when we thing other lives or situations are better than ours that we need to buckle down and do something about. The Spirit is telling us to start pouring ourselves into our lives, into our jobs, into our relationships. Water the grass you're standing on and MAKE it greener!
- Story of Jesus and the disciples getting caught in the storm on the water. Often the take home message is Jesus calms the storm but it is important to note that in the story, the storm appeared even though Jesus was present. So the storms of this life will happen, the important thing is how we deal with them with Jesus.

Then the worship music with Tim Neufield from Starfield was awesome!
Clearly there was a lot shared today and there are so much more notes to share but I tried to highlight and summarize them. It was a Spirit filled day and I praise God for the great things he has done and will do with this generation of young adults and all those who attended today.
Thanks for reading this long post and please comment.
All the best and God bless,
John

"Keep my eyes to serve, and my hands to learn"

Sorry for the absence readers. I will try to keep this relatively short even though a lot has happened this past couple of weeks. Here is what has been happening in my life:

1. On Tuesday last week I donated blood for the second time in my life! This is something I want to do more often in my life because it is something that can save lives. Unfortunately for me I fainted. It was the strangest thing. I was finished donating and I was lay in the chair holding the gauze in place while my body recovers and they can give me my bandage and I felt fine. I was even on my blackberry reading some of Joshua (side note: Yes I am in Joshua! So stoked that I have kept up with my readings and am making my way through the Old Testament). Next thing I knew, I looked over and an older woman had fainted giving blood or something and I felt concerned for her. I wasn't scared for myself or anything, just hoping she was alright which she eventually was. But then as I was watching the people tend to the lady, tunnel vision started setting and apparently I fainted! Next thing I knew I realized I was sleeping and woke up wondering what happened. Funny thing was that the lady caused a domino effect and I was one of 3 people who fainted in response to her fainting. Long story short, I spent an extra hour at the clinic recovering and eating tons of juice and cookies. Lesson learned is to drink more food and water the day before and day of donating to ensure my body is truly ready for duty.

2.  Ball hockey intramurals were last week at school and it was a blast. I got to showcase some skill on the court which I was complimented on by my classmates. It does make me feel good to hear people think I'm good at hockey. We lost in the final on Friday which sucked but I played good and made some good plays. One of which resulted in a goal so I have nothing to be ashamed of. Ball hockey may have been the reason I fainted too since I may have been a tad dehydrated from the 2 games I played on Monday.

3. I've started playing guitar for the music portion of worship of one of the young adult groups I attend. I am happy to know that I have the ability to do this since I have always had doubts in my guitar and singing ability. I have helped out twice and it is going well. Really feel good about this and I think it will open up doors for me to continue doing this with the other young adults group I attend at a different Church.

4. I also got a summer job on a travel team to help run events that raise money for Cancer. Pretty excited for that since I will be in Toronto, Vancouver, and Calgary this summer working. Should be a great time but a lot of work.

5. Participated in "Coldest Night of the Year" as well on February 23rd! It's a walk-a-thon to raise funds for Yonge Street Missions which look after the homeless. It was a great experience that I will do again. It was nice to walk around Downtown Toronto and take in the sights, share the walk with others and have some laughs, and show the community that we care!

VERSE OF THE POST:
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be alert and of self control (have self control). Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." - 1 Peter 5:7,8

This verse was written on the first page of my Dad's bible given to him by his parents when he went away to the military. I think this verse is wonderful! The Lord loves us and we can just heave our problems and worries for Him to take care of. Also, it is a reminder for us to be on guard since it is easy to fall into sin because the devil is always ready to help trip us up (which happened this week. Argh so dumb! God is so good to me though so I will keep living off his victory over sin!). This verse was a great choice by grandma and grandpa Neal for Dad. Hopefully someday Dad will realize this and I can give him back his bible when he is ready to use it! haha :)

SONG OF THE POST:
It was either "I will wait" or "Below my feet" both by Mumford & Sons. Going to see them in the August and I am so excited for it! "I will wait" was an unofficial theme for our team this week in Ball hockey and these two songs are favorites of mine. I will wait, I will wait for you!

Thanks for reading and please comment or message me and let me know what you think!
All the best and God bless!
John

The rant from posts past.

Hello again! This post is from a previous post where I edited out a portion of it because I felt I was getting off topic/ it was getting long. I believe what I wrote needs to be said because it may have been inspired. So here is the "lost post" as I can call it as I rediscovered it and am posting it now for your reading pleasure!

"I am also left with the knowledge of knowing how great God is! You see, I'm not writing about SM to complain or vent or grief, I am writing to show how God works in my life so others may be encouraged. You see, after the break-up, I realized who I really was, where I was in my relationship with God, and how my decisions truly effect those around me. It was a huge wake-up call! It was through the loss of the wonderful woman SM, that God opened my eyes to the fact that I had become 'lukewarm' in my walk with Christ. I had allowed sin to make me complacent with who I was and where I was going in life. Mind you life was going according to 'plan' as I had always hoped to meet a girl in university and eventually get married by 25 but that is not how life works. If you have a plan or an idea, you can't just expect it to happen, you have to work at it and do everything in your power to make it happen while God will guide you every step of the way (if it is in His will)(Prov 16:9). Since losing SM, I've realized that I can't just LET life happen, I must MAKE life happen. So since then, I have drawn closer to God by reading scripture and praying daily (usually start my day with it) to ensure that I give time to God and be filled with the Spirit and truly be a Man of God.  

Now I apologize for the long post but there is so much to say about this since SM was my 'first love' and this whole ordeal has changed my life for the better."

To elaborate on this, I would just like to say that I honestly thank God for all the time I spent with Sarah in our friendship and relationship and I thank God for showing me what it takes to be a man in a woman's life. Clearly I wasn't all I could have been to her and she feel for another man which she went to after the final straw. As for me now, pursuing the Kingdom and becoming a Man of God is priority. God will lead me in the life everlasting which will be better than I could have ever imagined before. 

Thanks for reading and please comment with praise, advice, or any prayer requests.

All the best and God bless!

John

With hurt and hope, I carry on praising you.

Hey everyone!

Today was the wedding of KM and TB and I wish I could have been there with everyone but unfortunately I couldn't make it. Weddings are such a great time. Those two will be so happy together because they have the most important thing to have in the relationship, the love of God. I PTL for the relationship they have and I wish them all of God's blessings for the rest of their lives together. So cute!

As for me being here, single and still trying to understand what that means for me and my life, I feel both a hurt and hope. I read a tweet a few months back that says the average person takes 7 months to get over someone so I guess I'm almost there haha. I'm usually good day to day saying my prayers for SM and hoping the best for her but those times I see or hear about her being with the new guy it still jolts the heart. That's what life is now though. She may have found everything she has been looking for which is wonderful for her considering it is what we all want. That special someone who we can love unconditionally because we know they are doing the same for us. I pray for SM and her relationship with MS because I do want the best for them and if this is God's plan for them both than all the blessing to them right. Why should I be selfish and want her when it is clear that it wasn't working. Who knows what the future holds but in the time being I need to be Christ-like and love her the same no matter what. Hopefully God's will has us being friends someday.
Even though  I want to have a girl to love and cherish all the days of my life, I know that this may not be the time in my life for it. I've always thought of marrying young but now as I see life is shaping up, I feel I may have a larger purpose than to just be a family man who helps people in the community. With being single, I have nothing tying me down to a certain location so I could go anywhere and that is somewhat exciting since God could do anything! It is funny though that even though I realize God has a different plan for my life than I had thought all these years, I still kind of try to hold on to my plans. I still have that relationship mind set. For example, last week there was as snow day and I thought what a great date day it would be. To go for a sleigh ride, walk in the park, stay in and have a cozy day watching movies and have a lovely supper. I'm a hopeless romantic I suppose.
With regards to God's plan for my life, I have something to share with you. Back in November while listening to T-swift's song "Begin Again", I figured to set a date in the future that I believe may be a great day in my life. In the song it says:
"I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end, but on a Wednesday, in a cafe, I watched it begin again"
Now I know this is silly but I thought it would be interesting to set a date and see if God will do something miraculous to show me how love can "begin again" in my life. Just a little exercise that I am excited to see how it turns out.

Verse of the Post:

No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, So I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.  - Joshua 1:5-6

I have started Joshua this past week as I continue to try to read the Bible cover to cover so PTL for progress. Slow but still progress. These verses are encouraging because no matter what is happening in my life, the Lord always goes before me and is watching over me. All I need to do is have faith and be strong and courageous for God to use me.

Song of the Post:
Already explained above and this is one of many songs that I relate too in recent months. I look forward to the day God shows me where my true somebody is...out there somewhere. In the mean time my past is with somebody somewhere.

Thanks for reading and Happy Belated Valentines day haha.
All the best and God bless,
John

"The story of us"

So this past week I rediscovered MSN messenger and decided to take a ponder into the past with it. Do you remember MSN? Everyone used to use it but now with facebook and text messaging there is no need for it. Anyway, I read over my message history with some people and I have come to the following conclusions:
1. I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself. Some of the conversations I had with people disgust me because the things I said and thought should not have come from a Christian's mind and I am so glad God has changed my heart and mind. "Who I am hates who I've been" for sure and it pains me to know that I was that way for so long and I could have been so much more by now if I didn't go down the paths I did.
2. I truly miss the friendship I had with my ex-girlfriend SM. I'll explain shortly
3. I was such a hopeless flirt haha. I always thought I was just being friendly because I would flirt with no intentions of dating but just to have fun and maybe make girls smile. I also had no game haha.

Anywho, one thing I did this past week was that I read through all of my MSN history with my ex SM from our first year university all the way up to August 2009 and it was so neat to see our friendship progress. After reading all of it I truly realized the friendship I lost with SM. After the break up I have gone over the good time of us dating as well as the times I could remember when we were friends before dating. But now I have had so many memories and experiences we shared come back to me and it is sad to see that SM and I are no longer friends. It our conversations were cute though. The back and forth of "what's up" and "how was your day/weekend?" and my occasional flirting and her story telling of things that happened in her life. What was remarkable was how close we became over the couple of years. We would support each other spiritually by praying for each other and sharing fears and thoughts and I really appreciated that. We were so comfortable to talk to each other about our faith and our lives. She was one of my best friends without a doubt. It was for all these reasons that I decided I wanted to date her even though I may not have been ready spiritually to do so.
There are also so many memories and inside jokes that came up while I read our history:
1. SM calling me a jerkface, stomping her feet, and her "grunt". The grunt was a personal favorite. If you ever got to hear and see her doing it, it is priceless. So funny and cute.
2. Our Revelations bible study that we tried to do in 1st year and keep up over the summer. At least I finished the Book over the summer haha
3. Being there for her through her relationship with JB (not Justin Beiber haha). It was funny to read how they started dating and how happy she was to start dating him and how mad she was after they broke up. I was so happy to be there for her when she needed to rant or talk. I'm always glad to help my friends and I was glad she was comfortable to come to me for support.
4. Our group camping trip in 2nd year at our buddy DL's house. Good times!
5. Our skype chats. Thanks SM for introducing me to skype.

Well I'm sure there is more to write about but it is getting late and I need to sleep. The only thing I'm sure of at this moment in time is that I miss my friendship with SM. The unknown future for us as friends or something more or whether I'm over her or not is all up in the air to me but like I said, the only thing I am sure of is that I miss our friendship. We became best friends and I threw it all away wanting a girlfriend and I was happy with her but unfortunately I made too many mistakes and broke her heart that she wanted me out of her life indefinitely which is the hardest thing to deal with. This won't be the last time I talk about SM since I have so much to say but thanks for reading.

Verse of the Post:
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. -2 Timothy 2:22

This verse came out of our conversation as we were talking and I really wish I practiced what I preached. In our conversations I would sound so wise but remembering back and seeing other message histories I clearly was being foolish. I was so happy for SM who kept me accountable and was such a great great Christian friend.

Song of the Post:
My girl T-Swift has so many good songs that can relate to SM and I's relationship and experiences so I thought "Fine, I'll pick one". I could easily make a playlist of songs that I have felt an attachment to since the break up (comment and I will do so!). So here is one. Actually the title of this post is one that is fitting but everyone has heard it. The one I chose I've related to pretty well and it is well done. It is a great cover of White Horse by Taylor Swift.

Thanks for reading and again comment and let me know what you would like to read!
All the best and God bless!
John

In Christ alone my hope is found...

To add what I said yesterday!
Today I went to Emannuel Baptist Church up in Barrie, Ontario and there message came from Romans 1:16-25.
Courtesy of Biblegateway.com:

¹⁶ I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. ¹⁷ For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last,^[c] just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”^[d]

¹⁸ The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, ¹⁹ since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. ²⁰ For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

²¹ For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. ²² Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools ²³ and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

²⁴ Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. ²⁵ They exchanged the truth of God for a lie,and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised.Amen.

This is what I was talking about yesterday! I'm glad to know Jesus as my personal saviour and to have His free gift of salvation of my life. I know at times in my life when I begin to have a "foolish heart" and put God aside in my life and sin creeps in like a lion waiting to pounce, I am so glad that God does bring me back to Him. He could just as easily let me fall into the "sinful desires" of my heart but He is always calling me back and thankfully I do eventually listen, after all I can't help but be foolish at times. It's sad to know that in my past I have pursued my sinful desires at times on purpose and at times accidentally and it sucks that those decisions to sin or let myself be tempted to eventually sin have effected my life the way they did. The bad part is I've been hurt because of it and I know others have been hurt by it too, in which I am deeply sorry. The good part is that the God allows us to make those decisions so that we understand that God is better than what we sinfully desire. When we realize that exchanging God for anything is the worst trade imaginable, we smarten up and seek Him first! I myself in the past couple years thought I was doing alright and looking back now I "thought I was wise, but actually became a fool". I am so glad God has worked in my life to change me for His glory. At times I miss what I had but I know God will give me more than He has taken away.

Quote of the Post:
"If people change the truth of God into a lie and worship and serve the creature rather than the Creator, the whole order of nature is violated; for apart from the fear of God there is no power known that will hold the evil desires of the natural heart in check." H.A. Ironside

Heard this is church today and thought it is so true. If we don't trust and worship God for who God is, than we start to make up what we want God to be and that opens the doors to sin in our life and into our community.

Song of the Post:
This song was played today and I just love worshiping God with it. Powerful and beautiful words and music!

No power of Hell, no scheme of man. Can ever pluck me from His hand. Till He returns, or calls me home. Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

All the best and God bless!

John